is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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