And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
