You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
