aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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