lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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