We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it