He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.