I think i peed on brittanys purse
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.