Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great