don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.