We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Farmville is her only friend.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize