Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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