you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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