you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.