Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize