My room smells like vodka and shame
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
