He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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