If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize