The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
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Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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