I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I believe in your delicious
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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