I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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