so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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