Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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