You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
