Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize