i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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