a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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