Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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