Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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