OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My balls are so social today.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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