she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
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Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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