Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
