you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Pooping to opera.
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