just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize