mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
