i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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