To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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