Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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