I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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