I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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