So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
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i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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