so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize