This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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