I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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