I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize