if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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