So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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