Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
