I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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