sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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