I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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