Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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