I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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