I wanna bring you to show and tell
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize