omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts