I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN