david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's not a walk of shame if you run